That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I wish I only lived at night.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
