in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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