Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
