I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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