I wanna bring you to show and tell
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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