I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
