I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
