Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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