I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
