Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
