Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize