i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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