Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
