Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
