U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
