Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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