As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Who died my cat blue again?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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