he wants to bone in the snuggie
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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