Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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