i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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