My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize