It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
