Rock
Scissors
Fuck
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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