I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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