he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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