And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
