Banned from zoo.
Again?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
