Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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