she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize