I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
