doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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