You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
