My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize