Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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