I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
and she was petting her beer can
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
