Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
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