Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
