Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
