I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
