I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
