now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
