Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
