Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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