i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
