I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
