I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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