i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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