I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
