I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Congratulations! We have a period
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