We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
