Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
