Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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