you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
