The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
