i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
