I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You ruined the universe
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
