imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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