when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
